


my heart is pounding (what's wrong with me)

by februa



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - High School, Blushing, Crushes, Denial of Feelings, M/M, baseball player!jinyoung, lapslock, student council member!daehwi, they blush a lot i apologise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-28 01:56:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15038165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/februa/pseuds/februa
Summary: five times daehwi thinks he's going insane over a boy and the one time he comes to terms with it





	my heart is pounding (what's wrong with me)

**Author's Note:**

> hi all, it's thy again?  
> in the back of my mind i always thought that this was just an incomplete draft stuck in my google drive but as it turns out, it is actually finished and so i messed with it a bit and here it is  
> its definitely not my best but i really miss jinhwi okay!!!!  
> i edited this in the wee hours of the night so theres probably some mistakes in there somewhere  
> special thanks to... myself for going to the w1 san jose concert and seeing how tiny daehwi actually is in real life and how handsome jinyoung was  
> also i don't know the first thing about baseball or student council work
> 
>  
> 
> title taken from love4eva by loona yyxy

1.

 

lee daehwi does not know the first thing about baseball. he can’t quite grasp the concepts of battery, balks, or bunts. the one thing he does know is that he is completely and utterly bored. he thinks that miss yumi must be out of her damn mind to assign such a pointless project to him. lee daehwi, a star student, co-editor of the school paper, and vice president of the student council, sitting and observing an entire baseball game on a weekend when he could be doing more important things? for what cause? oh yes, because “we need to have representation of all of our sports other than just soccer! do it for the sake of equality!” she had exclaimed happily, bright red lips parting and revealing her pearly white smile as she put the assignment of “baseball feature” into the grade book. and as a star student, co-editor of the school paper, and vice president of the student council, daehwi simply could not say no to her. his pride lives off of his inward craving for the equal treatment towards all. he (begrudgingly) has to admit that she has a point. daehwi is practically best friends with both of the captains of their school’s soccer teams and had written quite a few features on them and the rest of the team in the past. he doesn’t know nearly any of the baseball players save for the secretary’s boyfriend who, even now, he can barely recognize down in the field below him. which is why he is found here in the stands at 10 am on a saturday under the glaring sun’s rays when really he should be at home calculating costs for the upcoming year end festival and protecting his glowing sensitive skin. miss yumi was lucky she was his favorite. she was also lucky daehwi just felt so indebted to the school that he was willing to go out of his way to serve his peers. 

 

“strike! you’re out!” someone calls from the field and suddenly the crowd around him is cheering and whooping. daehwi sits completely dazed in the midst of it all. he didn’t know what the hell a strike meant, but he assumes it’s a good thing. he watches the field carefully. a few players run up to the guy standing in the middle of the diamond with a baseball mitt over his hand and high five him, smack him on the back, all the usual jock-y acknowledgments. he almost scoffs at the barbaric nature of athletes, but he holds back. daehwi is pretty sure that guy’s position is the pitcher, something he learned from listening in on the two chatty girls to the left of him. the pitcher pulls the sky blue cap off his head for a split second before shoving it back onto his head. under the hat, from what daehwi could see, was a slightly tanned boy. he had the smallest face he has ever seen and soft looking brown hair. the two girls squeak beside him when they catch a glance of him and his eyes can’t help but linger on the athlete for longer than what is probably socially acceptable. since when are baseball players so attractive? daehwi scoffs at his own thinking.

 

the boy watches as the rest of the game goes by without a hitch. the unnamed pitcher gets the rest of the opposing team out one by one and the crowd continues to whoop with school pride. he nearly finds himself cheering alongside the parents and peers around him when another strike is called out. the calls seemed to be endless, members of the other team getting out one after the other. as boring and repetitive, it was all getting, daehwi was intrigued. 

 

“hey,” he calls out to the girls after the eighth inning. “who’s that pitcher?” the girls look at him bewildered. he recognizes one of them from his class.

 

“you don’t know the famous bae jinyoung? he’s the best pitcher in the region right now!” one of the girls explains. daehwi takes a quick note of this onto his notepad. there’s no real reason why; he was only supposed to write about the general sport, not about the team or even the specific game. there’s no need for an interview or anything of that sort for this assignment. but he can’t help how he likes how the name looks written out. why hadn’t he ever heard of him before? he tries to pretend it doesn’t irk him as much as it does that he doesn’t recognize the boy’s name or face. as daehwi continues to watch the game and steal a few too many glances at the pitcher he doesn’t know, he thinks that he must be losing his mind. he blames it on the heat.

  
  


2.

 

as such a highly valued member of the student council, daehwi has a multitude of different responsibilities within the board and the school itself. or maybe it’s just because the actual members don’t do anything. he ponders this as he approaches their meeting room. what if he was being taken advantage of due to his will and hardworking nature? why else would they recruit an underclassman? he shrugs and enters anyways. daehwi is immediately greeted by ha sungwoon, the treasurer, laughing loudly at his smartphone(he likes to think that his name should really be  _ haha _ sungwoon), hwang minhyun, the secretary, with his head in his notes, and kang daniel, social activities officer, with his feet on the table as he fiddles with his shoelaces. the observation makes daehwi check his own shoelaces subconsciously. he notices that his left shoe is untied and makes a mental note to tie it once he’s settled into his seat. they’re all sitting around a circular table in the middle of the classroom.

 

“where’s the prez’?” daehwi wonders out loud.

 

“probably just running late as usual,” sungwoon answers, annoyance replacing the amusement in his voice.

 

“give the man a break. he has a lot on his plate,” minhyun says behind a flashcard. “and daniel, what did i say about no shoes on the table!” with a glare from the secretary daniel sheepishly obliges. 

 

“i know that, but if he’s gonna plan the meetings he should at least be showing up to them on time. even i’m here,” sungwoon adds. daehwi is pretty sure the president hasn’t shown up to a council meeting on time even once in the entire school year. he wonders to himself how the man even makes it to his classes on time. as if on cue, student body president yoon jisung opens the door and trips flat on his face into the room.

 

“speak of the devil,” sungwoon calls out to jisung, not even bothering to get up and help the man on the floor out.

 

“don’t help me- i’m okay,” he groans as he makes his way back upright and dusts himself off. “hello again, team! today’s agenda is marketing for our festival that is right around the corner!” he announces loudly as he takes a seat between daniel and daehwi. it was like he hadn’t taken the biggest fall of the year just then. jisung was always good at perking up quickly, a skill daehwi also possessed. perhaps it was because of his similarities to the student body president that he was chosen for the job?

 

“have you reviewed the booth layouts and the class assignments?” minhyun asks, eyes still not leaving his notecards. how the man managed to form coherent thoughts while still cramming latin vocab words still boggled the hell out of daehwi.

 

“i did,” daehwi responds gleefully. “everything looks good, but i had to rearrange with two 2nd year classes because they didn’t have the right materials.” minhyun finally looks up and nods at daehwi gratefully.

 

“jisung, did you look at the poster designs i sent last week?” daniel asks. his voice is muffled due to the fact that he was still fiddling with his shoelaces but crouched down underneath the table this time. minhyun silently approves.

 

“oh yes! i liked them and printed four hundred copies. they should be right here,” jisung replies and starts rummaging through his bag. “they  _ should _ be right here…” he rummages some more and then finally just dumps his entire bag out onto the table. “maybe i left them on the printer… aw crap, did i leave my textbooks in there too?!” the exasperated president slumps in his seat and opens his mouth to complain when daehwi beats him to it. 

 

“i’ll go get them,” he sighs and drags himself up from his chair and out the door. he knew he couldn’t be too mad over it; it was typical of their president to forget things. the guy just had too much going on. it was a wonder why jisung had decided to run for president in the first place when he was already this close to burning out from dealing with theater, classes, college applications, along with daily shifts at the cafe down the street. daehwi supposes he is glad he was appointed as the vice president; he knew he was capable of running things alongside the frantic fourth year and more than capable of being in charge once he and the other committee members were gone. the only issue was who else would be on the council alongside him.

 

“just stay here and review the costs for the fireworks show and the estimated profits. i made charts comparing the last few years, they’re here on the table,” daehwi explains while getting up.

 

“thank you, daehwi! you’re truly our saving grace!” he hears jisung exclaim as he walks away. he can even make out sungwoon giving faux applause. he rolls his eyes despite knowing no one is around to see his snarky reaction. despite their lack of effort, daehwi kinda liked those guys. besides, who else would he sit with and bother at lunch?

 

the printer is practically on the other side of the building, but at least daehwi can have a mental break to sort his brain out. and even despite hating all forms of physical activity, he thinks it’s nice to be able to stretch his legs out.

 

once he reaches the copy room, he spots the stack of four hundred pages on the machine as well as four thick textbooks on the table next to it. he first places the papers on top of the textbooks and then pushes the entire stack to the edge of the desk to lift it all up. it’s a lot heavier than he expected. he wonders how jisung carried all of this around on his back. the vice president decides to distract himself from not only jisung’s poor spine but the dull ache that is slowly spreading throughout his thin arms by thinking through his to-do list.

 

“i have to write my article, edit donghyun’s piece, review notes from the novel for the test on friday, discuss costs for the festival with sungwoon, start putting up posters, buy grocer- AHHH!” daehwi screeches as he loses balance and his face nearly makes contact with the cold floor. he had stepped on his untied shoelace. he realizes this as he feels the looseness of his left converse. daehwi mentally curses himself and then sungwoon- himself because he should’ve remembered to tie his shoe and sungwoon just because. he had also flung all of the things he was holding into the air and all over the hallway. and the last and possibly the most important, he observes, is that his arm is being held onto, preventing daehwi’s face from touching the grimy floors of their school. the unknown holding onto his arm gives it a tug and suddenly daehwi’s back is pressing up against a person. a firm person. and they smell nice too, like fresh laundry and cotton, and strangely familiar.

 

“are you okay?” a quiet voice asks. daehwi has to look up to see that his savior was the pitcher from the baseball team.

 

“a-am i…” daehwi stumbles over his words while trying to fully process the words that came out of the other’s mouth. he notices how nicely their school uniform fits on him. he can’t believe he, the most composed and put-together model student was made into a fumbling mess by a boy- a jock nonetheless. he blames it on the embarrassment of tripping over an untied shoelace like a child who didn’t know how to tie up his shoes. he feels the tips of his ears burn bright red. daehwi gulps and tries again. “i’m okay, thank you.” daehwi takes a tentative step away from jinyoung. it’s strange. he’s standing now, but he still feels weak in the knees. 

 

daehwi nearly sighs out loud at the mess of flyers and textbooks in front of him. he crouches down and starts to gather papers. the vice president expects the other to simply walk away and pretend the incident had never happened, just as he himself was planning to do. after all, they weren’t even acquainted with one another. instead, though he glances over to see the other boy has started to pick up papers as well. 

 

“um, it’s okay,” daehwi voices quietly, but loud enough so that the taller could definitely hear him in the empty and quiet hallway. he pays daehwi no mind though as he continues to clean up. the vice president can’t really do anything but accept the help. they work together in silence. after a few moments daehwi has one of the textbooks in his arms and about half of the papers. jinyoung is standing in front of him with the rest of the things in his arms.

 

“thanks for the help. you can give them back now,” he requests. jinyoung obliges by setting the stack he was carrying on top of daehwi’s. what daehwi does not expect is for him to suddenly duck down out of sight. because of the papers and books, daehwi can’t see what the hell is going on. it finally clicks when he feels a tug on his shoe. everything happens so fast that daehwi barely has time to protest when jinyoung stands back up and takes back his part of the stack. fortunately, the short circuiting of daehwi’s brain also means he did not immediately respond to jinyoung tying his shoe by kicking him the in the face or somewhere even worse. 

 

“we wouldn’t want that to happen again, right? where were you headed?” he asks. daehwi just blinks at him and starts walking, staring at the floor and the walls and windows and basically anything and everything that wasn’t the tall baseball player. jinyoung trails alongside him and doesn’t say another word. daehwi isn’t sure whether to be grateful or want to pull out all of his hair. once they reach the classroom, jinyoung places his stack onto daehwi’s very carefully, his bottom lip in between his teeth. he opens the door for him too. daehwi tries his hardest not to stare and be entranced with how warm his eyes looked. 

 

“daehwi! what took you so long?” jisung asks once he spots him standing wide eyed in the doorframe.

 

“i tripped on the way here. but-” daehwi pauses to look back at jinyoung, but the brown haired boy has already disappeared down the hall.

 

“but what? are you alright?” jisung asks suspiciously. the student body president takes a look in the direction daehwi is staring at.

 

“it’s nothing. your books are really heavy though,” daehwi finally responds and steps into the room. the meeting resumes just as normal. except daehwi is uncharacteristically distracted by his double knotted shoelaces. (minhyun scolds him for it and finally gets him to stop by comparing him to daniel to which he gets a loud protest to.)

  
  


3.

 

daehwi’s intelligence did not come easily as most might assume. his grades are a result of pure willpower and hours of studying on end. and daehwi felt it really paid off. he was top of his class when it came to testing. he was respected. his classmates knew how hard he worked and how much school meant to him. so when daehwi walks into class right on time(meaning ten minutes early to ensure he is properly set up for the day) and encounters one of his classmates sleeping with his head on his arms on the desk that was the closest to the door in the back row, daehwi is nothing less than appalled. firstly because school was a place for learning, not snoozing. secondly, because he finally notices that the boy resting is most certainly bae jinyoung. daehwi realizes this when he tries to take a closer look at the mystery student. he stares extra hard at the fluffy brown hair and rough looking hands. it wasn’t until the boy stirred and turned his head to face outwards that daehwi knows it’s him and almost gasps out loud. daehwi had been much too close for comfort. he nearly wakes him up but decides against it.  _ jinyoung’s education is his own responsibility _ , he tells himself as he shakes off the fluttery feeling in his abdomen.

 

daehwi feels upset at himself. how could the boy with the most connections in the school not even know all of the students that shared his first-period class? he thinks back to the first time he heard of bae jinyoung only a few days ago and how ever since then, he’s had an unfamiliar and intrusive feeling in his chest and he did not like it one bit.

 

the star student carries on with his daily rituals in an attempt at some normalcy. he takes his seat at the front left of the classroom and takes out his pencil case, his notes, and his glasses. he only allows himself to take one last glance at the boy in the back of the classroom before he turns to the front for the rest of the period. as usual, daehwi gets immersed in the lesson and class flies by. as he’s the first to arrive, save for today when he found jinyoung, daehwi is also usually the last to leave the class whether it be for bombarding the teacher with questions or packing his things up.

 

he takes his time putting away his pencils and highlighters into his bag. daehwi decides he must be feeling normal again as he feeds into his habit of making lists in his head when he walks down the row of desks towards the door. the vice president takes a glance at the last seat in his row and is surprised to see that jinyoung is still there, softly snoring away. he must have slept through the entire class.

 

daehwi scoffs at him, but his gallant student council instincts are telling him to wake the boy up, not just for jinyoung’s benefit, but for the greater good. he places a light hand on jinyoung’s shoulder and shakes him gently.

 

“jinyoung,” he calls out once. the other boy stirs a bit and daehwi quickly removes his hand before the other can notice it was on him in the first place. “class is already over,” he tries again. after a few moments jinyoung finally lifts his head and stretches his arms out. jinyoung’s eyes crack open into a squint as he tries to adjust to the light. he stifles a yawn and rubs one of his eyes. the other eye looks at daehwi.

 

“sorry,” he murmurs and daehwi can’t figure out why the baseball player was apologizing to him for sleeping through his own class. “was up late last night reviewing my game.” this confuses daehwi as well- he didn’t owe him an explanation. he can’t help but feel bad for the taller boy though. 

 

“it was all review today,” daehwi starts. the vice president also can’t figure out why he was catching the other boy up on class when it was jinyoung’s own fault he had missed the lesson. he typically has no tolerance for slackers. not even the cute ones whose faces looked charmingly swollen when they first wake up. “and there’s a test next week.” jinyoung’s eyebrows raise at this. daehwi thinks he looks ridiculous; jinyoung’s hair looks like a birds nest and his eyes were still puffy from sleep. and was that… drool? daehwi tells himself that the feeling in his chest is disgust and nothing more.

 

“i’m majorly screwed, huh?” jinyoung asks and laughs at himself.

 

“yeah,” daehwi says awkwardly. he believes the conversation to be over so he turns to walk away, he has another class to get to anyways.

 

“hey daehwi,” jinyoung calls out, stopping daehwi from even taking his first step. he turns back to the pitcher with a perplexed expression. he didn’t even think they had ever been properly introduced. “ah, don’t look at me like that. the whole school knows who you are,” jinyoung explains as if he was reading his mind. “but um…” the taller trails off and looks down at his desk sheepishly before looking back at daehwi with a shy smile. daehwi forces himself to ignore the butterflies that flutter up in his stomach.

 

“could i maybe borrow your notes from today?” he asks finally. the butterflies die quickly.

 

daehwi wants to say no. he wants so badly to reject him and just bolt to his second-period math class. because the lee daehwi he knew did not want to be any less than five minutes early to class. the lee daehwi he knew did not pity classmates that slept through class. the lee daehwi he knew did not lend out his notes because he himself had to study them. and the lee daehwi he knew definitely did not harbor a school-girl crush on his school’s star baseball pitcher just like every other girl in his grade seemed to. 

 

perhaps jinyoung senses this internal conflict. he certainly takes advantage of it as he’s suddenly smiling a little wider, eyebrows raised again in that dumb looking way. and then daehwi is opening his bag and fishing out his notes. he places them on jinyoung’s desk and walks out briskly. he ignores the grateful smile on jinyoung’s face. he ignores the small “thank you” he hears on his way out. he ignores the butterflies that never seem to really go away.

 

the next day daehwi walks into class slightly later than usual(only seven minutes early) and does not see jinyoung sleeping on his desk. he stands behind the seat as he turns the canned coffee he had bought just before coming in his hands for a few moments. it’s still warm. daehwi shakes his head and mentally talks himself back into action. he sticks a sticky note onto the coffee before placing it on the last desk in the last row closest to the door and going to his own seat.

 

and the day after that he arrives at his desk and encounters the same sticky note stuck onto his notes from two classes before. except there’s something written along with his own original message of “don’t sleep in class anymore!” underneath it in messy handwriting is “i won’t :)” he shoves the note into his jacket pocket, mimicking his forcing down of the now familiar yet just as unwelcome fluttery feeling once again.

  
  


4.

 

daehwi isn’t only the last to leave his classes. sometimes the boy is the last to leave the school itself. he packs up his belongings and sighs as he notices on the clock it is already 6:30. he had been making arrangements to the year end festival schedule, going over the estimated costs for the last time, and running around the school to put up flyers. he stares at the pile of posters he has yet to put up and sighs again. he notes that he needs to stop sighing so often.

 

“see you on monday, daehwi,” minhyun says from the classroom door. daehwi waves at him and glances at the windows. the sun was almost set and the sky was slightly cloudy. he had checked the forecast this morning and it had warned him of rain. in his head, he calculates how quickly he could power walk home without completely passing out from exhaustion and still beat the rain clouds that crept towards his location. he shrugs and decides not to rush. he would save his last bit of remaining energy to study. besides, his house was only a fifteen-minute walk and he had grabbed an umbrella that morning. 

 

he flings his bag over his shoulder and walks out to the front of the school. in the distance, he spots minhyun’s figure walking with another person. it was likely jonghyun, the baseball player dating the secretary. he had learned that jonghyun was a batter. daehwi had observed that the two had an umbrella covering them. 

 

“crap,” he mutters as he steps out of the small covered area in the entrance of the school and feels tiny droplets of rain fall on his head. the rain seems to get heavier and heavier by the minute. by the time daehwi has gotten his umbrella from his bag, it’s pouring. daehwi holds the umbrella out and snorts. the thing was a soft pink and spotted with a cute bunny print. his mother must have put hers into his bag instead of his own plain black one.  _ i guess it’s pretty cute _ , he shrugs. daehwi presses the button on the handle which pops it open as another figure approaches him from the left. at this point the umbrella is already over the vice president’s head, so all he can really make out of the other person are their muddy sneakers and strong looking legs clad in white pants. daehwi takes a few steps into the rain and suddenly pauses.  _ i know those legs, _ he ponders over the gentle pitter patter of the rain above him. it’s a strange realization, but he doesn’t have time to think about it anymore. he turns around just in time to see bae jinyoung with his bag over his head, about to run out into the downpour.

 

“stop!” daehwi impulsively squeaks out. the taller boy looks up at him surprised. 

 

“daehwi?” he asks aloud.

 

“which direction are you going?” at this, jinyoung absentmindedly points to the left. “great. let’s just go together.” jinyoung smiles at him.

 

they start off towards the left slowly, neither of them saying anything. daehwi would like nothing more than to interrogate him. what’s his favorite color? was he always good at baseball or did he practice a lot? does he have any siblings? when’s his birthday? how does he like his eggs in the morning? why was he such a goddamn mystery? as soon as daehwi finally works up the courage to open his mouth, jinyoung speaks up first.

 

“i was at baseball practice if you were wondering,” he explains in a quiet voice. it’s strange, daehwi thinks. it’s almost as if he was feeling shy.

 

“oh. i was doing student council work,”

 

“oh.”

 

“yeah.” and they’re back to the silence. daehwi can feel jinyoung stealing glances at him and steals a few back himself. he takes notice of how jinyoung’s leaning down to stay under the umbrella and raises his arm up higher. 

 

“here,” jinyoung says suddenly and he takes the handle, hand grazing over daehwi’s as they switch off. 

 

“thanks,” daehwi murmurs. great, now daehwi doesn’t know what to do with his hand. he ends up stuffing it into his pocket. he tries not to think about how warm jinyoung’s hand felt and how he wants to feel it again. 

 

“do you walk home every day?” the taller asks suddenly. daehwi sees that the pitcher is watching the ground in front of him bashfully.

 

“sometimes i bike when the weather's nice. but i like walking better. more time to… think about things, i guess.”

 

“like what?” 

 

_ like how annoyingly handsome i think you are. _ “like schoolwork and other things i need to be doing.”

 

“you must be pretty busy with student council and all,” jinyoung voices thoughtfully.

 

“jisung hyung certainly keeps me on my toes,” daehwi laughs. “especially with the year end festival coming up… are you planning on coming?” daehwi asks tentatively. 

 

“wouldn’t miss it for the world. besides, the baseball team was assigned a booth. and i know it’s going to be good if you’re someone in charge.” daehwi feels his face heat up and mentally beats himself up for it.

 

“and why would you say that?”

 

“you’re kinda famous around here, daehwi. star student? every teacher’s favorite? vice president of the student council as a second year? it’s all pretty impressive,” jinyoung says it all very seriously. daehwi feels his gaze on him and blushes even more furiously than before. “at least that’s what i’ve heard around!” he adds quickly, looking away from daehwi.

 

“well thanks,” daehwi voices quietly. “it’s nice to know someone’s appreciating all the work i put in,” he says with a half hearted chuckle. sure, jisung had it rough with his full plate of extracurriculars and job, but daehwi wasn’t too far behind him in terms of responsibilities. he knew if he slacked off for even a moment, it would all come crumbling down. it was a lot of pressure to put on a second year.

 

“of course!” jinyoung announces loudly when he hears his response. he even stops walking, turning to daehwi to grab him by the arm with his free hand. if he hadn’t, daehwi might’ve kept walking right into the downpour. the taller boy stops his train of thought completely by looking him straight in the eyes. daehwi wonders if those are actual stars in his eyes or if it’s just his imagination. “there are plenty of people who appreciate everything you do! the things you do are important. the school probably wouldn’t be able to run if you weren’t there behind the scenes doing practically everything.”

 

the shorter boy is rendered speechless. he’s never felt so acknowledged in his 17 years of living. he blinks and nods. there is such a raging fire in jinyoung’s eyes that although he feels embarrassed to be staring right into them like a lovestruck fool, he can’t bring himself to look away. perhaps jinyoung’s own head is catching up to his actions because he suddenly let’s go of daehwi’s forearm and is attempting to look at anything but the other boy.

 

“you’re really important to lots of people, daehwi. your hard work definitely does not go unnoticed,” jinyoung reiterates as they continue walking again. somehow, daehwi thinks that he could mean someone more specific than ‘lots of people’ but he doesn’t pry. after all, he could be wrong. why would a good looking and talented boy like jinyoung ever waste his time watching over a square like daehwi?

 

they transition to talking about lighter topics like the story of how daehwi was recruited into the student council to begin with (minhyun had burst into his class on the first day yelling about how his “credentials were amazing” and how he needed another “like minded individual to keep him sane.”) and how first years seonho and guanlin dancing to troublemaker at the recent school talent show had the entire student body buzzing for weeks and even discussing soccer star third year park jihoon’s selection of colorful shoelaces. and after they’re comfortable enough they delve back into deeper issues as they talk about their plans for the future. daehwi learns about how jinyoung wants so badly to travel the world and how his parents pressure him constantly to go professional with his baseball career. jinyoung learns that daehwi had always aspired to become a singer when he was younger, and how the crushing reality of the industry had faded it into nothing but a forgotten dream. daehwi is going into detail explaining about his hobby of songwriting when they approach his block.

 

“i’m sure you could make it. you certainly have the will for it,” jinyoung admits. 

 

“but it’s not like, stable or anything,” daehwi sighs.

 

“isn’t it just worth it to do something because you love to do it?” this awakens a lot of thoughts within daehwi. he suddenly thinks that jinyoung is much wiser than he appears. 

 

“you should take your own advice,” daehwi says half jokingly. the look on jinyoung’s face is unreadable. something like hopefulness or fondness?

 

“um, this is my house,” he states awkwardly once they reach his front gate, not really wanting to part ways with the other boy. the twenty-minute walk felt like hours, but too short all at the same time. talking to jinyoung had come so easy to him. daehwi had told him things even his mother didn’t know and it was only his first real time speaking with him.

 

“really?” jinyoung asks bewildered. the athlete takes several glances between daehwi and the house behind him.

 

“uh, yeah. you can borrow the umbrella for the rest of the way if you want.” daehwi is suddenly aware of the fact that they had been walking under a pink bunny print umbrella the entire time and jinyoung hadn’t batted an eye. he almost takes back his offer.

 

“you really live here?” jinyoung questions, still looking shocked.

 

“what’s so hard to believe?” daehwi frowns. was his house ugly or something? he sneakily takes a peek at his house and still doesn’t get it. it’s just a basic white house, nothing out of the ordinary. besides the bright pink lawn flamingo(his mother’s stylistic decision), he can’t find the issue. jinyoung doesn’t seem the type to judge a lawn ornament. 

 

“i live right over there,” jinyoung reveals as he turns around to point at the light blue house across the road. daehwi’s jaw drops. his eyes focus in on the mailbox resting against the fence and it indeed reads ‘BAE’ in bold letters.

 

“how did i not know that?” daehwi asks loudly. “why don’t we ever see each other?”

 

“our schedules are completely different,” jinyoung offers quietly.

 

“we go to the same school, doofus!”

 

“i guess you have a point,” jinyoung admits. “here,” he says as he holds out the handle of the umbrella. daehwi grabs it and their hands brush ever so slightly. it’s still enough to give daehwi chills down his spine. 

 

“i’ll see you tomorrow,” jinyoung says with a soft smile.

 

“bye,” daehwi smiles back and waves as jinyoung turns around and runs into the house across the street. as soon as daehwi is in the house, he collapses against the front door. his back meeting the door makes a thud almost as loud as his heart beating against his ribcage. 

 

“bae jinyoung is out to get me,” daehwi sighs as he puts the still dripping umbrella away.

  
  


5.

 

daehwi is equally as busy in his own home as in the school. as the only son to a single mother, he helps cook, clean, and everything in between in an attempt to lighten the load on his mother who is the sole provider of the household.

 

on a bright and early sunday morning, he opens the refrigerator door to find an expired carton of milk, two garlic cloves, and a half eaten sandwich from four days ago. he sighs deeply and conjures up a pen and notepad to start a grocery list. he marks down the essentials like eggs, milk, bread, fruit, and even jots things down for tonight’s dinner. daehwi rips the sheet from the notepad and puts it on the counter. shortly after, he picks it up again on his way out the door. 

 

the market is bustling with people. neighbors and people daehwi’s never seen before alike, all stocking up for the coming week. he grabs a cart and wheels it through each aisle leisurely. it gives him more time to think about things he may need to buy that isn’t on his list already. he seems to do that often, stall in order to think. he allows his mind the time to wander as the shopping cart fills up slowly with various necessities and not so necessary items like that cute little bar soap holder and that salt shaker that’s shaped like a squirrel. his thoughts go a little too astray and he ends up crashing into a person in the middle of the bread aisle. the other person is rammed onto the floor. daehwi shrieks.

 

“oh jeez, i’m so sorry!” daehwi exclaims as he runs to the other side of the cart. “huh? jinyoung?”

 

sitting before him is the infamous star pitcher. he nearly doesn’t recognize him; he’s wearing a black dust mask and a black baseball cap. his eyes peek out from under the cap and suddenly daehwi is mesmerized. he almost doesn’t even notice how the athlete is literally cradling a bag of frozen peas in one arm. the other arm is stretched out behind him, still bracing him from his fall.

 

“are you alright?” daehwi says after clearing his throat when he realizes he’s been holding eye contact with the boy a little too long in a little too close of proximity. he holds out a hand to help him up and tries not to blush such a miniscule amount of contact. “i’m really sorry.”

 

“no, it’s not your fault. i should’ve watched where i was going,” jinyoung says reassuringly. it is most definitely daehwi’s fault. they stand with an awkward silence between them. at least as silent as it could be with the sunday hustle and bustle of the store surrounding them. 

 

“so,” jinyoung finally starts. “funny running into you here.”

 

“just doing some grocery shopping,” daehwi says and then realizing his response doesn’t leave any room for a reply back. he curses at himself for wishing to extend the conversation so badly. it had been so easy to talk to him two weeks before when they first walked home together. “what about you?” he adds on quickly. 

 

jinyoung lifts up the arm with the bag of peas. “an errand for my mom.” daehwi nods at this and they’re stuck in that weird and uncomfortable silence once again. jinyoung eyes his shopping cart suspiciously.

 

“would you like any company?” jinyoung offers shyly. daehwi nods again, but a little too enthusiastically. 

 

“yes!” the shorter exclaims before reeling back a bit. “i mean, i don’t mind. wouldn’t your mom be expecting you though?”

 

“i’m sure these peas aren’t that important.”

 

they start walking, jinyoung right by daehwi’s side. 

 

“it’s cool that you do the grocery shopping,” jinyoung mentions in the spice aisle.

 

“yeah, my mom’s busy a lot of the time. i usually do all the household chores for her.”

 

“that must be a lot of work along with the council work. maybe you like keeping lists so much because you feel the need to keep track of everything effectively,” he says with a gesture towards the grocery list. daehwi is somehow always surprised by this boy. not only does he articulate his thoughts much better than he suspects a typical jock would, he seems to be excessively considerate in a way the star student has never experienced before. jinyoung was just able to see through all the cracks and make out the bigger picture of himself, that even daehwi had a hard time seeing, without even giving it much thought. and daehwi felt grateful to have met someone who thinks of him like that. a rush of affection for the taller boy runs through him.

 

as they make their rounds around the store, they find more things to talk about. small talk turns into joking around and they’re right back to playful banter and comfortable conversation. daehwi feels oddly domestic; jinyoung is grabbing things off of higher shelves for him and daehwi is listing things off of a grocery list so that he can cook dinner. warmth seeps up his neck as he ponders such a life with the taller boy. not that he would ever crush on a dorky jock like him anyways.

 

“look! samples for guacamole,” jinyoung calls out in the middle of his sentence explaining the difference between a foul and a strike. the taller points at the little table in the next aisle with a bright smile. daehwi can’t resist smiling at the childishness of the outburst. they stroll over to it together and each take a sample.

 

“you two look awfully young to be married,” the stout lady serving the samples observes loudly. there is absolutely nothing that could stop the redness from spreading onto daehwi’s face like a droplet of ink seeping onto a blank canvas.

 

“we’re just friends,” they blurt out in unison. daehwi takes a look at jinyoung to see that he is the same shade of embarrassed and they step away from the sample cart, the woman chuckling behind them.

 

“have you eaten anything yet?” daehwi asks once he regains his sanity and walks the cart towards the cash registers. jinyoung shakes his head as he helps load items onto the register belt.

 

“let’s go grab something to eat. only if you want to,” daehwi suggests quietly.

 

“i would love to,” jinyoung says with another wide smile. daehwi doesn’t even try to stop himself from smiling back.

 

\+ +

 

they walk together, jinyoung holding three of the five grocery bags. the taller recommends a food stall a little ways from their houses. the travel time is occupied with more laughs and jokes.

 

“-and i tripped right as i was getting to third base! everyone in the stands was either booing me or laughing,” jinyoung recalls with a laugh.

 

“doesn’t beat the time i was backstage for the talent show and accidentally said mr kim looks constipated right into the microphone.”

 

“touche.” they reach the food stall in near hysterics and jinyoung orders them both a serving of ddeokbokki to share. they take bites in between their fits of laughter and once they finish, they decide they’re still hungry. they walk to another stall. the afternoon is filled up like this; leisuring through streets and giggling around food stalls. neither of them notices the frozen peas have already defrosted. daehwi doesn’t want it to end. the boy vocalizes this as they walk home together.

 

“i had a lot of fun,” he says, smiling brightly at the taller boy.

 

jinyoung returns his smile and agrees, “me too. we should do this again.”

 

“i’m, uh, usually free on sundays,” daehwi mentions at the front gate of his house.

 

“i guess that means i’ll have to be free on sundays too.”

 

“huh?”

 

“to see you, of course.” daehwi flushes and shoves jinyoung lightly. it felt like the end of a date- a date with a sporty, attractive jock who falls asleep in class and claps when he laughs and ties your shoelaces like a gentleman- something daehwi would never admit with his own mouth. the vice president continues to blush when he thinks about the usual occurrences of a date and what is supposed to happen at the end of them when someone is dropping someone else off at their house. he’s seen too many of his mother’s tv dramas to not think of it.

 

“don’t be stupid… go inside already,” he lets out weakly, taking the grocery bags from the taller. he places the now soggy looking bag of once frozen peas back to jinyoung from where he put them in one of daehwi’s grocery bags. the shorter turns around by himself, not even waiting for the other to say goodbye. he marches inside and shuts the door. he makes sure he doesn’t turn back. the deja vu he gets from the feeling of his heart racing as he stands against his front door is telling him he’s going crazy. so he tells himself that this is real life where he is lee daehwi, a self-respecting young man who does not have dumb crushes on dumb jocks and he is certainly not a protagonist of a cheesy romance drama and that he needs to pull it together and stop internally monologuing already before he drives himself completely insane.

  
  


+1.

 

the day of the year end festival comes up on daehwi quickly. the entire event is being held in a large clearing just behind their school where a stream ran. it’s hectic and three dumb freshmen have already dropped important things into the water. daehwi ends up running around rampant while screaming at people to quit messing around and to put that there, not there and making sure everyone knew what they were doing. sometimes he was forced to play the bad guy, but he could live with it if he was able to see people enjoying the fruits of his labor later. the vice president is consulting with the people organizing the firework show when he finally spots another council member.

 

“minhyun hyung!” he calls to the senior. “where have you and the rest of the goons been?” he asks as the older approaches.

 

“sungwoon hyung was hanging out by the milk bottle booth the last time i saw him. i think daniel was asking the girls at the face painting booth to give him cat whiskers. and i haven’t seen jisung hyung,” minhyun answers promptly. “i can take over here. you should take a break. the festival should be starting soon.” daehwi checks his watch and his eyes pop out when he sees it’s already 4:30. he leaves the fireworks business to minhyun and starts wandering around like a chicken without its head- but with more purpose. 

 

daehwi walks around for a while, trying to still micromanage everything he sees, but for the most part, he does take his time in just observing. the vice president skips around until he finds the milk bottle booth. it’s painted a bright red and easy to spot. he also finds sungwoon laughing as obnoxiously as usual with another senior, noh taehyun, in the booth. 

 

“working hard or hardly working?” he asks as he approaches. the two seniors jump when they spot him.

 

“such a stick in the mud, aren’t you?” sungwoon states more than asks. he reaches out the booth’s opening to attempt to ruffle daehwi’s hair to which the younger dodges quickly. 

 

“someone’s got to run this council after all,” taehyun snorts as he nods towards daehwi. “so, how’s the booth look?” 

 

daehwi takes a closer look at everything. the paint is finished nicely and the sign at the top reading ‘milk bottle toss’ looks professional- it’s even spelled correctly (daehwi shudders as he remembers the tragic misspelling of the duck hunt booth from last year). the game setup itself looks good too; three sets of three milk bottles stacked in a pyramid, a softball in front of each set and various stuffed plush animals to win hanging from hooks at the top of the booth.

 

“it’s pretty nice,” daehwi says finally. he steps into the booth and grabs one of the balls and jogs to the front of the booth. he tosses the softball from one hand to another and takes his throw at the bottom left bottle of one of the arrangements. the ball hits it dead on with a hard  _ thump _ and bounces back out of the booth. the bottle doesn’t budge in the slightest. daehwi frowns as the two upperclassmen erupt with loud laughter.

 

“what the heck!” daehwi whines. he stomps over to the bottles and attempts to topple it over with his hand. what he didn’t expect was the weight of the bottle. “are you rigging your game or something?”

 

“don’t you want to make money?” sungwoon answers with another question.

 

“not like this!”

 

“alright, i’ll rephrase. don’t you want to keep all these stuffed animals for yourself once the festival is over?” daehwi stays silent at that and sungwoon knows he won. he was right. daehwi takes a few tentative peeks up at the plushies hanging from the top of the booth, almost reaching a hand up to touch a soft looking poliwag. it reminded him of someone he couldn’t quite place.

 

“that was a good throw though, daehwi,” a familiar voice interrupts from behind daehwi. he turns around and almost gets whiplash when he sees that jinyoung has been standing in front of the booth for some time now.

 

“ah- jinyoung, when did you get here?” daehwi squeaks.

 

“around 1? i was setting up a booth with the baseball team,” he explains, pointing a thumb towards some direction away from the milk bottle booth.

 

“oh! this is sungwoon, the council’s treasurer, and taehyun, his… friend?” daehwi points out.

 

“yes, his  _ friend _ ,” taehyun repeats mockingly. “i’m his boyfriend, actually.”

 

“some boyfriend you are then. taehyun isn’t even going to watch the fireworks with me! he’s ditching me to go hang out with his friends,” sungwoons huffs.

 

“i had already made plans!”

 

“you’re gonna stick around for the fireworks show later tonight, right?” daehwi asks jinyoung as the couple begins to bicker.

 

“i wouldn’t miss it for the world,” jinyoung responds with a smile. daehwi is entranced and nearly asks him if he wanted to view the show together in his dazed state.

 

“alright, enough. i can see the hearts shooting out of your eyes already, so can you take the love fest somewhere far from here?” taehyun interrupts loudly as he waves a hand in the air to swat at the supposed hearts flying around him. daehwi hadn’t even noticed when they had stopped arguing. 

 

“hyung!” daehwi protests.

 

“i, uh, probably should be heading back now,” jinyoung starts. daehwi meets his eyes and sees that the taller is blushing profusely. “see you around, daehwi.” daehwi grumbles at taehyun and sungwoon to start helping other stations as he watches jinyoung’s retreating figure.

 

\+ +

 

the first few hours of the festival go off without a hitch. a substantial amount of people from the community come, along with the rest of the attending student body. there are people lining up at nearly every booth. daehwi walks around with leisure, silently monitoring things and handling any small situations that arise.

 

“i hate this game! it’s so stupid!” he hears just before a loud crash. daehwi turns on his heel and walks towards a younger boy at the milk bottle booth. the boy had gotten frustrated and kicked the booth. it hadn’t really done any harm, but daehwi, as a man of the student body, couldn’t just ignore someone attempting to dismantle a booth which was worked on so diligently by his peers. 

 

“hey kiddo, what’s up?” daehwi asks as he leans down to match the boy’s height. 

 

“this game is totally rigged! every game here sucks,” the kid spits out harshly, kicking up some dirt in his frustration. “i just wanted that bear.” he points up at a large teddy bear.

 

“how many times have you tried this game?”

 

“too many! and now i’m out of money, i only have one more throw left,” he mumbles, tears welling up in his eyes. daehwi feels a mild panic bubble up as he considers his options. he could either try to help and fail just like earlier because he knows it’s rigged or let the boy try and also fail. either way, the kid isn’t getting his bear and will probably end up walking away upset with the entire festival. and who knows what kind of havoc this kid was capable of creating. daehwi takes a deep breath before reaching out to the last ball. 

 

“here kid, i’ll get you that bear,” a voice cuts through behind daehwi. in the blink of an eye, a hand reaches out and grabs the last softball on the counter of the booth. it then whooshes past his head at warp speeds, the impact of it on the heavy bottles causes them all to topple over.

 

“wah! thank you so much, mister!” the kid exclaims gleefully, receiving the bear from the student running the booth and bouncing off without another word. he doesn’t even look back. that’s one problem of daehwi’s resolved, now another sprouts up in the form of bae jinyoung looking smugly at him.

 

“didn’t take you for such a show-off,” daehwi says mockingly. 

 

“you’re not going to thank me for being your galient hero?” jinyoung asks seriously before breaking into a smile. “based on what i saw earlier, there’s no way you were gonna get the prize for that kid.” his teasing has little bite and daehwi finds himself smiling back embarrassed. 

 

“the game is rigged, okay!” daehwi argues before clamping a hand over his own mouth. “no one heard that right?” he quickly glances around and sighs in relief when he sees that everyone else is in their own little bubbles, paying him no mind.

 

“are they all?” jinyoung asks a little quieter, being considerate of daehwi’s concern of people overhearing.

 

“probably,” daehwi huffs. knowing daniel was in charge of most of the booths, he could come to a pretty accurate conclusion.

 

“well, we should go test some out- for quality purposes, right?” jinyoung inquires, one hand wrapped around the back of his neck sheepishly. it seemed his smug confidence was dying out. 

 

and so they do just what jinyoung suggests. the two boys stop at every booth they pass no matter how uninterested they actually are with the activity. it’s all knocking over pins, cotton candy, and winning prizes until the sun finally sets. by the time the lanterns daehwi helped to arrange on the booths all light up, the two of them are adorned with animal headbands. daehwi grips the familiar looking poliwag plush in one of his hands. they walk together aimlessly, waiting for the fireworks show to begin. 

 

“it’s so beautiful,” daehwi observes out loud, eyes twinkling as they reflect the glow of the lanterns.

 

“yeah,” jinyoung murmurs. the shorter boy glances over at him and blushes when he sees him looking his direction.

 

“you’re not even looking at the lights,” he protests lightly.

 

“i was looking at something even better,” jinyoung answers boldly, proudly sporting embarrassed red cheeks. daehwi scoffs at him and gives him a playful shove. 

 

“quit messing around, you’re making me embarrassed” he murmurs.

 

“what was that?” jinyoung leans down closer to hear, observing the pretty flush on the shorter’s cheeks. he stops right in front of his face. daehwi takes the time to admire his features like his eye lashes that graze the peaks of his cheeks when he blinks and the soft curve of his nose. his eyes drift down to the taller boy’s lips before he can think about it. daehwi quickly tears his eyes away and back up to jinyoung’s eyes only to see him doing the same. time slows down around them and daehwi can feel his heartbeat in his ears and head and fingertips and all over. he wonders if jinyoung could hear it too over all of the noise surrounding them.

 

“hey, the fireworks are starting!” a child screeches as they both realize the distance between them has diminished to only a few short centimeters. they both jump away from each other and daehwi’s eyes are boggled out of his head.

 

“s-should we head down to the stream?” jinyoung stammers. daehwi nods and follows the taller in the direction of the stream. as they approach the area there’s already a sizeable crowd forming. kids weave their way around the mob easily and suddenly daehwi is very grateful for jinyoung’s height. he can’t possibly lose sight of him like this. that is until he feels something crash into his leg and looks down to realize a small girl had run right into him.

 

“are you alright?” he asks, leaning down to offer a hand to the girl. she takes a glance at him, gets up by herself and promptly runs off. the vice president huffs and stands back up to see that he had definitely lost jinyoung. he panics a bit before remembering to breathe, calming himself down. he didn’t need to be so dependent on anyone, much less jinyoung. he could find a perfectly good spot to view the fireworks all by his lonesome. and it’s not like jinyoung had really implied he wanted to observe the show with him. but those thoughts quickly diminish as a strong and calloused hand reaches out to grab his own through the mess of bodies. his eyes follow the arm up to the owner and sees jinyoung standing in front of him, grinning as if he had just won the lottery.

 

“i thought i lost you back there,” he says. “let’s go together.” with their fingers interlocked, daehwi feels incredibly warm and he’s certain it isn’t simply due to the beginning of the summer heatwave.

 

his hand pulls daehwi through the crowd and suddenly they’re both standing at the edge of the crowd, only the shore of the stream in front of them now. they both stare at the sky as its lit up by sparks and explosions of color. the buzz of the crowd behind them seems to dissipate like they’re the only two living entities at that moment. the pounding of his heart comes back throughout daehwi’s head again. 

 

the shorter glances at their intertwined hands and then at jinyoung’s face. his skin is being illuminated by the brilliant colors of the fireworks in the sky; blue, then red, then golden. his eyes look like they’re sparkling, a whole separate firework show erupting within them. as if daehwi’s breath isn’t taken away already, he watches as jinyoung blinks out of a daze and turns his head towards him, meeting his eyes with a grin.

 

“hey jinyoung,” he starts. he isn’t sure if the pitcher can hear him, but he knows that if he doesn’t say what he wants to say now, he never will. his heart hammers against his ribcage. jinyoung raises his eyebrows in either confusion or acknowledgment.

 

“i… i think i like you?” daehwi stammers out as loudly as he can manage over the booming fireworks above them. daehwi doesn’t have to consider if the other boy heard it or not because he sees jinyoung’s lips bloom into a full blown smile. his hand is sweating profusely in jinyoung’s. it feels like it all happens in slow motion. the taller’s other hand comes up and covers his grin. he’s positively beaming. 

 

“why are you so cute?” jinyoung asks instead of answering. it comes out soft and muffled due to his hand over his mouth and daehwi only barely hears him say anything. and then he moves his hand to rest on daehwi’s head, ruffling his hair. the shorter feels the same kind of warmth from jinyoung’s hand spread onto his cheeks.

 

“i like you too,” jinyoung says very boldly despite the red blooming on his own face. it’s much louder than casual conversation volume, but it might as well be a whisper. daehwi barely hears it over the fireworks; it’s like a secret that only the two of them share. daehwi clenches jinyoung’s hand just a little tighter and feels it being reciprocated. he starts to think that perhaps the clamminess between their skin isn’t so bad, that he can live with that as well as the near heart attack he experiences every time he sees the other boy. his beliefs are only confirmed when jinyoung leans down to meet him halfway on his tip toes and gently presses his lips against daehwi’s. fireworks continue to go off like rapid fire above them, but the only ones daehwi can focus on are the ones firing in his head. 

 

\+ +

 

lee daehwi does not have crushes on jocks. as the student body vice president, he does not tolerate slacking off in class and especially not sleeping through lessons. as a star student he does not lend his precious notes out because he wants to maximize his study time. daehwi does not ever see himself sitting in the bleachers in the glaring sun to watch a sporting event he doesn’t even understand in the first place. but he supposes he could start making a few exceptions when it comes to his boyfriend, bae jinyoung.

**Author's Note:**

> can you tell i whipped i am for jinyoung
> 
> i genuinely hoped you enjoyed reading this! feel free to leave a kudos or comment or whatever  
> and if you want you can yell at me on my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/guanhengs) or even my [twt](https://twitter.com/renhyuks)
> 
> love always :'')


End file.
